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THE WRONG BITCH
 
 
THERE WAS A AMERICAN MAN, AN ENGLISH MAN, AND A FRENCH WOMAN ALL ABOARD A TRAIN. THE VERY TIRED AMERICAN MAN WAS LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO SIT DOWN AND ALL THE SEATS WERE TAKEN. SO HE SEES THIS FRENCH WOMAN SITTING IN A SEAT WITH HER DOG IN THE SEAT NEXT TO HER. HE SAYS TO HER "MA'AM... CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE YOUR DOG SO I CAN SIT DOWN ?" THE LADY LOOKS AT HIM AND SAYS "NO... MY FIFI IS SITTING HERE". SO HE WALKS UP AND DOWN THE AISLE AGAIN AND, AFTER NOT FINDING ANY SEATS OPEN, HE GOES BACK TO THE LADY AND SAYS "MA'AM... I'M VERY TIRED AND I'VE BEEN ON MY FEET ALL DAY. CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE YOUR DOG SO I CAN SIT DOWN ?" SHE LOOKS AT HIM AND SAYS "YOU AMERICAN MEN ARE SO RUDE AND ARROGANT. NO YOU CANNOT SIT DOWN... MY FIFI IS SITTING HERE". SO THE AMERICAN MAN LOOKS AT HER AND LOOKS AT THE DOG AND THEN HE TAKES THE DOG AND TOSSES THE DOG OUT THE WINDOW. THE WOMAN, VERY SHOCKED AND UPSET, YELLS "THAT WAS MY DOG ! HE JUST THREW MY DOG OUT THE WINDOW ! IS ANYONE GOING TO DEFEND MY HONOR ?" SO THE ENGLISH MAN SAYS "YOU AMERICAN MEN ARE NOT ONLY ARRAGANT... YOU DO EVERYTHING BACKWARDS. YOU DRIVE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, YOU HOLD YOUR FORK IN THE WRONG HAND... AND YOU TOSSED THE WRONG BITCH OUT THE WINDOW !"

GOD IS MISSING !!

A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.

The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if
any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity.
The parents were at their wit's end as to what to do about their sons' behavior.

The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining
children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He
asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first.
The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner
tone, "Where is God?"

Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more
and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?"

At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his
closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?"

The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they
think we did it!"




Password

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate
point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a
password.
Something he will use to log on to the computer.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for
the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the
computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife
that he was keying in:


P...

E...

N...

I...

S...


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***